Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Sebab Suami Mental

25 sebab suami jadi 'mental'!!

1. Memperkecil suami dihadapan orang lain antara sedar dan tidak
walaupun ianya benar ie. "hubby i tu kan kan..memancing ikan pun dia tak
tau.. bla bla bla "

2. Menganggu suami dengan menelefon dia terlampau selalu sangat dan
selalu dimasa yang salah. ie. "hello abang ada meeting ker tu, sorry la
cuma nak cakap..malam nih kita goreng taugeh dan tauhu cicah sos toamto
jer ..ok tak "

3. Terlalu suka mengalihkan barang sampai suami tak jumpa barang-barang yang disimpan beliau.. ie. "kita dah simpan gitar awak tu kat dalam stor, entah la atas palang mana satu.."

4. Mengambil muka surat atau bahagian tertentu dari surat khabar dan
menyusun surat khabar dengan cara yang amat salah..sampai tidak dijumpa
mana-mana seksyen yang hendak "bang, sport section tu ayang dah buat
bungkus buah papaya....dah mengkal merah dah"


5. Memotong mana-mana bahagian majalah dan juga suratkhabar atau apa-apa
bahagian dari mana-mana printed matter sampai berlubang sana sini dan
sisuami tak sempat baca/tengok " ie. eh kita suka la news pasal TV
plasma tu..kita dah potong simpan..."

6. Menyuruh suami agar membeli itu dan ini dalam perjalanan balik dari
opis sedangkan nak pergi pasar/supermarket cuma esok sahaja atau baru
semalam telah ke pasar. ie. "bang.. semalam kita tersinggah Gym, lupa
beli garam,gula beras dan susu budak kat TESCO sebagaimana dalam
list....boleh singgah tak mana mana ..pleaze "

7. Tidak memberi arahan/instruction yang jelas kepada suami bila
menyuruh dia membeli sesuatu dan kemudian memarahkan/menyalah kan suami.
ie. "saya kata beli susu cair dan ising gula, apsal awak beli susu dugro
dan gula getah ...kan lain tu"

8. Membuat temujanji dan aktiviti sosial tanpa mendapat persetujuan
suami terlebih dahulu ie. "i dah confirm malam Jumaat nih nak party
tupperware kat rumah cik minah,you tak ada program tahlil kat mana mana
kan ?? "

9. Mengubah barang, tempat buku atau tools atau apa-apa setting di PC
tanpa memberitahu suami. ie. "screensaver gambar gitar dengan you tu i dah tertukar jadi gambar saiful apek..."

10. Bercakap/bersembang di telefon dengan kawan-kawan sewaktu malam
selepas 10 pm bilamana nak beristirehat dan ber...ber... .ie. " pot pet
pot pet pot pet pot pet pot pet pot .."

11. Menjemput tetamu atau sesiapa sahaja datang kerumah tanpa izin
suami. ie. "malam nih i jemput lina dan anum datang dinner rumah sebab hubby
dia orang outstation, ok kan kan kan "

12. Berpakaian kusut masai dengan t-shirt terkoyak dan kain batik lusuh
dan rambut tak terurus serupa langsuyar dan muka tak bermekap serupa
mayat dirumah... tapi cukup segak dan cun bila nak keluar rumah. ie.
"..oh baju-baju cantik tu cuma untuk ke kenduri kawin dan dinner jer,
kat rumah pakai coli koyak pun dah cukup seksi kan bang .."

13. Mengambil masa yang cukup lama bila bersiap macam pengantin bila nak
keluar kemana-mana dan membuatkan suami tertunggu dan terus tertidur.
ie. " sorry la i tak tau baju kebaya mana yang paling jarang so kena pilih
betul betul .."

14. Dengan sengaja atau tidak sengaja terlupa menyuruh maid atau diri
sendiri membasuh atau mensterika baju atau seluar yang telah dipilih
untuk dipakai dihari berkenaan. ie. " eh baju tu masih berendam dalam
besen lagi..nak pakai jugak ke baju basah tu.."

15. Dengan sengaja atau tidak sengaja menyebelahi anak anak bila suami
sedang hot dengan budak budak tu..ie. "..eh biarlah budak budak tu pergi
ladies night, bukan nak tinggal rumah kawan dia tu seminggu.."

16. Tidak suka mandi dan bersiap awal pada hari cuti dan hanya bersiap
bila nak dekat asar sahaja. ie. "...nak mandi buat apa awal awal bukan
nak pergi jalan jalan mana pun.."

17. Suka melengah lengah kan masa bila nak bersolat berjemaah atau
beribadat dengan melencong ke dapur, bilik budak budak atau buat benda
benda lain. ie. "..awak solatlah dulu, saya nak abiskan rancangan Melodi
nih.."

18. Mengganggu suami yang sedang tengah tengok tv. ie. "pasukan hijau
kuning tu sampai mati tak akan dapatkan Kaka, mari tolong saya potong
ayam nih.."

19. Asyik bercerita tentang diri sendiri tanpa memberi peluang pada
suami untuk bercerita jugak. ie. " u tau tak kat opis tadi, i rasa nak
massacre client tu u tau tak.. then lagi, waktu balik tadi nasib baik
opis boy tahan I ..then lagi tak tak ...then today.. then tadi..u tau
tak...semalam u nak tau....bla bla bla bla."

20. Membebel dan berleter tak renti-renti tentang hal-hal yang amat
kecil dan di ulang tayang semula tiap tiap hari. ie. " i dah kata jangan
kasi budak budak tu prepaid, kan sekarang dah ...bill bla bla bergayut
bla bla bla bla...ini semua salah you"

21. Memfitnah dan menuduh suami tanpa usul periksa. ie. " eh cik
abang,awak nih ada affair ke apsal sms beep beep beep tak henti henti
nih...GRO universiti mana pulak awak nak nih..."

22. Menceritakan hal rumah tangga pada orang lain dan memburuk-burukkan
suami @ keturunan suami @ asal usul suami. ie. "..eee u tau tak hubby i
tu makan makanan petai jeruk.. eeeii peliknyer!!"

23. Dengan sengaja atau tidak, gagal memasak masakan yang suami nak
makan. ie. "..apsal u tak cakap tadi kata u nak makan gulai kari dan rojak
pasembor...i dah masak pai daging dan spaghetti kambing .."

24. Meminjamkan harta-benda suami pada orang lain tanpa kebenaran.
ie."..orang sebelah rumah datang tadi nak pinjam gitar u, sebab dia nak main kat tembok.."

DAN AKHIR SEKALI

25. Sengaja melengahkan untuk masuk tidur tanpa sebab-sebab yang
munasabah di malam Jumaat. ie. "..you tidurlah dulu, i nak habiskan
tengok drama 'intan' nih dulu then nak masak nasi lemak siap siap untuk
breakfast dan nak masukkan pakain dalam laundry then kemudian nak kacau
dodol....."

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Just Messing Around







Here are my pics ...hmmmm

Monday, August 18, 2008

Question i post to my doctor

Women say they want an understanding, sweet guy, but when I act that way they quickly lose interest. I sense that women get bored with me; I feel anxious or run out of things to say. I ask about their job, their family and I try to show interest in them. What can I do to become more engaging?

Light yourself on fire—become interesting to yourself. What makes people interesting is being curious about and interested in things and developing those interests to the point of passion. That fire draws others to you. What’s more, it turns your attention outward, so that you are not anxiously focused on your own performance. Yes, it’s true: Women increasingly want sweetness and understanding in their men—but not at the expense of interests, competence and good old self-confidence.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Please Release Me - at 43


Hmmm after 10 years of marriage i finally calls it quit. Well thats my story anyway. I've now gone into a journey called adjustment. Most newly single dads I know struggle to know where to start. What should be first on my list, and how do I even begin tor get my arms around the rest? Having talked to a number of single dads who have successfully negotiated this transition with their children, these are the recommendations laid to me by some. As adults, we have at least learned some coping mechanisms in our life to deal with change. Often, our children are totally unprepared for having a single dad as their primary caregiver. So as i help your son adjust, i'm considering the following suggestions. Talk a lot. Many children will open up and want to talk to dad or others about what has happened. Others will clam up or get busy being supportive to suppress their feelings. Your job is to keep them talking and to be a good listener. Encourage them to talk with you—if not with you, create a situation where they can talk to a trusted adult. Sometimes relatives, clergy, adult friends or therapists can help if they won't talk with you. But it is important to help them deal with their feelings and frustrations. Of particular importance is helping them see that the loss of their mother is not their fault. Show confidence. Children need to see that their dad is confident and optimistic about the future. Let them know that you are OK and that with time, your family will reach a new level of comfort and routine. Your attitude will make a huge difference in how they feel and cope now and later. Make and keep promises. For whatever reason their mom is no longer at home, your children's trust is likely shaken. Whether mom betrayed them by leaving or whether she died, they will not be very trusting, and, in their mind, for good reason. The best way to build trust with the children is to make and keep promises. Do what you say you will do, and don't make a promise you are not committed to keep. Consistency and honesty will help them find the courage to trust again. Losing a spouse for whatever reason can create all kinds of feelings in a man. And while you now in a very real sense have to be the principle support for the kids, you can't be all they need without a little self care. Make time for introspection. You will find a need to take a deep look inside and be ready for this new challenge. Get a grip on your feelings. Writing them down in a journal or in a password-protected computer file can really be a good way of looking objectively. Consider your strengths and weaknesses and find ways to compensate for the things you have a hard time with. Get comfortable with yourself and it will go a long way to your healing efforts for yourself and your family. Focus on health. Some dads deal with the stress of this situation by holing up or binge eating. Make sure you don't go there. Make time for exercise, even if you have to do it with one or more of the kids. Walk, run, hit the gym—just stay active. And make sure that you eat right. Resist the temptation to subsist on junk food. Keep lots of vegetables in your life. Consider early mornings. Once the kids are up and around, its harder to make time for you. And at night, there are lots of temptations like TV and the computer to distract you. Get up an hour earlier than the kids and make time for exercise, reading, getting organized and maybe even some meditation. Investing one early morning hour in yourself can make a marked difference. One of the biggest challenges newly single dads tell me about is the need to establish new routines when the other adult at home is not there any more. Get the kids involved. A lot of routine chores are within the capability of the children. Chores like cleaning, sweeping, vacuuming and more are not beyond their skill level if you teach them what you expect. A chore chart can really help with reminding them and keeping them accountable. Have laundry days. Trying to get ahead of and keep up with the laundry can be a big task. One new single dad I know tossed all of the kids' socks and bought 12 matching pairs for each child so mating socks became easy. Consider setting aside a couple of days a week for laundry. If your kids are a little older, they can do their own with a little training. And if you are not used to separating clothes for washing, ask an experienced laundry-doer for some help. There are not many things more discouraging than having a nice white shirt being suddenly pink because it was washed in the wrong temperature water with the wrong colors. Have your own chore chart. One dad I know got one of those little binders that hold punched 3 x 5 index cards with dividers for different days of the week. Under the Monday and Thursday tabs, he put cards for vacuuming; under the Saturday tab was a card for cleaning the bathroom. Every day he opened the binder to the right tab and knew what he had to get done that day. Find a simple system and stick to it. It will take a lot of the stress out of these routine duties. Accept help. Often, as others you love see you struggle, they will ask if they can help. Learn to be a gracious receiver of their offers. Swallow your pride, recognize that you can't do it all, and express gratitude for the help of others. With a little thought, time, emotional strength and help, you can make this very difficult transition to single fatherhood a little more bearable.